Fear of failure

Have big dreams? Make friends with failure.

What are your thoughts on failure? Do you avoid it at all cost? It makes sense, right? I mean, it feels awful so why would anyone welcome it?

OK, yes, failing does feel pretty bad. And trying to avoid it seems to make perfect sense. But if a toddler tried to avoid it, she would never learn how to walk. If an aspiring ice skater tried to avoid it, he would never learn how to skate.

Fearing failure is natural. Your brain is trying to protect you. And you should listen to what it has to say. There might be some great clues in there. But you cannot let it boss you about.

Imagine seeing an ad for your dream job. You read the job spec and realise that your skills don’t quite match what is needed. You decide that the chances of you getting the job are pretty slim and you don’t even apply. So what you actually do is reduce your chances of getting the job to zero.

Yes, applying for the job could mean hearing from someone that you are not good enough. But if you were to reframe the ‘I’m not good enough’ into ‘I’m not good enough yet’ – it’s a complete game changer. You might not be ready for your dream job right now but the knowledge of what you need to do to get there is priceless. Now you can come up with a plan and start getting the experience and skills needed.

And yes, you might fail hundreds of times before you get to where you want to be. But if you learn from each failure and improve and adjust, I’m not sure you can even call it failure anymore.